


Not Minding That It Hurts

by lighthouseglow



Series: The Jedi Archives [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Backstory, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Drabble, Gen, Internal Monologue, Isolation, Loneliness, Personal Canon, Psychological Trauma, Side Story, Storytelling, Survival, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6570619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lighthouseglow/pseuds/lighthouseglow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one gets close to me without my consent. <i>No one.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Minding That It Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes. I never write drabbles like this, but I felt such a connection with Rey that I felt compelled to. The title comes from a line in one of my favorite films, _Lawrence of Arabia_ : "The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts." I figured the events of the Knights of the Old Republic video games were so far in the past that, within the canon framework the films have given us, they could easily be myths and legends.
> 
> Naturally, Rey seems to be into Jedi mythology.

I got into mechanics because that’s how you survive out here—plus, I’ve always had the rather useful habit of absorbing data. I know stories of Jedi, wrote them down, especially the ones with strong women in them. They never took no for an answer, even when the men around them—because the world is, whether I like it or not, dominated by them—pushed them to the emotional breaking point. Darth Revan, a legend and a woman with an iron will, usurped Malak, her apprentice.

“No,” one of the traders on Jakku will say, “Revan was a man.”

“That was four thousand years ago! Is Darth Revan going to appear and put food in our starving bellies? I don’t think so! Rey, my child—”

“I’m not your child,” I interrupt the elderly woman and quietly head for home. I carry the staff because it’s the only weapon that will do me any good out here. There’s my intellect and these long, epic stories I act out with my (handmade) pilot doll, but no one cares about any of that, not really. Connecting with anyone other than myself, really, is terrifying; hence, the staff. They see the staff and no one would dare lay a hand on me.

No one gets close to me without my consent. _No one._ Once people get inside you they break you and I sure as hell don’t want to be a broken, bloody victim. Sometimes the nights are so bad that I curl up by myself, in my loneliness, and cry…but in the heat of the day I am a scavenger with a staff and no one can hurt me.


End file.
